OFtM Principle #3

Guess what's inside! You're going to love it.

One for the Money returns today for principle #3: Learn self-discipline and self-restraint in money matters. There are tons of quotes in here that are worth your time. Let's start with, "Young couples should recognize that they cannot immediately maintain the same spending patterns and life-style as that to which they were accustomed as part of their parents’ family."¹ Every young married couple needs to hear this over and over again until it sinks in. I should start giving framed versions of this as gifts at weddings. It would make me really popular.

I feel very strongly about this quote because I see it ignored so often. People who are still in college buy big screen tvs with their student loan refunds. If you have to buy a tv with money that you borrowed, then you can't afford it. In fact, if you have to buy any depreciating asset (more on this term in another post) on credit then you can't afford it. Consumer debt is bad. That statement needs no qualification.

Young couples (and singles for that matter) need to embrace being poor for a while. There are tons of options for getting what you need for cheap. Thrift stores have much better clothes than they once did. You can get nice things that are essentially new for a huge markdown. Online sources like craigslist and freecycle offer more ways to get things that you need (and even things you just want) for a reasonable price. The tradeoff is that you have to spend time finding good deals. But when you're poor, time is much easier to come by than money. Use your time to save yourself some money.

In our "self-indulgent, me-oriented, materialistic society,"² we ought to be a group of people who stand out as being different. Let me tell you a secret: stuff doesn't make you any happier. It's a poor substitute for happiness. Helping others makes you happier. Living within your means makes you happier. Gratitude makes you happier. "Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love."³ Rather than striving to buy on credit the largest things we can, perhaps we should strive to be grateful for all of the small blessings in our lives. There's no glamour or happiness in paying off consumer debt, only pain and misery. However, a grateful attitude will pay dividends for years after that big screen has stopped working.

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1 "One for the Money" pamphlet, pg. 6^↩
2 Ibid^↩
3 Bonnie D. Parkin "Gratitude: A Path to Happiness" April 2007 General Conference^↩

OftM Principle #2

One guy is you, one is your money. You pick which is which.

Returning to my "One for the Money" discussion, it's time to look at the second principle that Elder Ashton gives: "Learn to Manage Money Before it Manages You."

One of the greatest travesties perpetrated by our modern educational system is that lack of formalized instruction on money management. The reality of life is that you need to take responsibility for your own education in this subject. I see stories all the time of people with decent salaries who live beyond their means and end up ruining their lives. I also see stories of people making their budgets work no matter how much they are making.

I've mentioned the Micawber principle before, but it bears repeating. You're happiness will be heavily influenced by how well you manage your money.

There's a fantastic line in the second paragraph that I think people overlook. "New attitudes and relationships toward money should be developed constantly by all couples." Preach brother. I can't stress this enough. My wife and I deal with money differently than we did last year or even six months ago. Your relationship with money must change constantly based on your income, your goals, and the broader economy. Most people respond far too quickly to an increase in income with an even greater increase in lifestyle. Conversely, most people are far too slow at reducing their lifestyle when faced with a reduction in income. Don't be that person. You and I can do better. We can be better at this than the average person.

Once again the pamphlet is spot on with its advice. Money should be a tool, not a taskmaster.

Money Management and Marriage

As I said in the last post, I want to start breaking down the "One for the Money" pamphlet in more detail because it's such a great resource. After some initial introduction, the pamphlet opens with a story about a young couple who is planning on getting married. They're basically in good shape, but they haven't talked about money at all. He goes on to share some numbers (which I couldn't find anywhere) that something like 88% percent of divorces can be traced back to money quarrels.

Okay, I admit, that number seems high to me. Like really high. However, whether the number is accurate or not is irrelevant to the point. A significant number of divorces occur at least in part because of money problems. So what do we do about that? Elder Ashton gives a few good points. First, when choosing a spouse, "money management should take precedence over money productivity." I love that quote. Don't worry about how much your spouse will make, worry about how they'll manage what they get.

This idea is deeply connected to the Micawber principle. Micawber was a character in Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. He articulates a foundational principle of money management, "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery." It's better to be poor and solvent than rich and in debt.

Finally, Elder Ashton's other suggestion is that the money management in the home should be "on a partnership basis." Even children should be involved on a "limited partnership basis." Don't stick your head in the sand and leave the financial work to your spouse. Division of labor is one thing. In our house, my wife pays most of the bills that aren't automated, but I still try to be aware of what is going on. The illustration of a yoke of oxen is apt in this situation. You need to have both partners pulling together in the same direction in order to get where you want to be.